Sorting? Sorted!
by frozenpixie
Summary: With three older brothers who know their stuff and an unquenchable taste for mischief, there are two new first years who just can’t resist exploiting their classmates’ nerves about the sorting ceremony...


**Plotline based on a one-liner I read somewhere. Read and Enjoy!**

Fred and George Weasley, having dutifully waved to their parents and promised to behave themselves, settled into a compartment on the train with four other first years. Lee Jordan, Robin Saunders, Lucas Avery and Joanne Fathers, after having introduced themselves, immediately began to talk about Hogwarts.

"I heard it's terrible," Joanne, a small brown-haired girl said in a hushed voice. "They make you fight a troll in the Entrance Hall, and my sister said that if you don't manage to defeat it they won't let you in."

"Hogwash," Lucas Avery said, although he did not look too confident about his assertion. His pale greyish eyes were bugging slightly, and he passed a hand through his thin blonde hair. "My father told me they just put a hat on your head and it tells you where you should be." The others looked mildly relieved. Fred caught his brother's eye, nudged him gently, and winked. George gave him an evil smile in return.

"A hat tells you which house you should be in?" George scoffed theatrically. "That's nonsense. They can't tell if you're magic enough by giving you accessories to wear."

"It is so what they do," Avery defended. "My dad told me."

"Well me'n George have three brothers already at Hogwarts, and we know for a fact what happens," Fred boasted. His smirk became more pronounced at the look of awe he received from the two girls.

"We won't really have to fight a troll?" the blonde-haired girl named Robin whispered. She was a Hufflepuff if ever he saw one, Fred thought.

"Weeeeell," he began, drawing out the syllable to ensure he had the full attention of the carriage. "My brother Bill did, but he didn't have anyone to give him a head's up."

"Still has the scars on his chest, and he had to have four fingers regrown," George added. He had never heard the troll theory before, but he was making the most out of it. Avery actually shuddered, and Lee Jordan was torn between fascination and horror.

"Apparently one of the other students got his head ripped off," Fred chimed in nonchalantly. Robin gave a small gasp and looked like she was struggling not to cry.

"But there's another way," Fred hinted, and enjoyed the looks of hope and relief shining on the faces of the other first years.

"Is it dangerous?" asked Joanne timidly.

"Is it gruesome?" asked Lee curiously.

"It's easier than the troll," Fred invented. "But it's not a walk in the park. You have to answer three questions of Professor Dumbledore's own choosing, and some of them are really nasty."

"But I'm muggleborn," Robin choked. "I don't know anything about magic yet."

"Then I guess you'll have to face the troll," Avery sneered, breaking the twins' dialogue. "I happen to know all about magic, I can already do several spells. I'll have no trouble getting into Slytherin."

Fred and George exchanged a glance, taking an instant dislike to the arrogant boy.

"If you get all the questions right you'll probably go straight to Ravenclaw," George said snidely.

"My whole family has been in Slytherin," said Avery, aghast.

"Weeeell," said George, mimicking his brother. "There is another way. My other brothers, Charlie and Percy, both took this way. If you manage, you get to choose which house you get put in."

"You get to choose?" said Lee, eyes alight with interest. Joanne was peering at them curiously, and even Avery and Robin perked up a little.

"Sure. It's not something they ever tell you, but luckily Bill was already there to give the rest of us Weasleys the heads up."

"What do you have to do?" Avery's face was set in determination.

"If you swim across the lake, you can take your pick of house," George said nonchalantly, reaching forward for a pumpkin pasty.

"I don't believe you," Avery said suspiciously. "They wouldn't let a student do that. You might drown."

"Well don't give it a try, then," Fred said carelessly. "Have fun in Ravenclaw."

"If they make you fight a troll they definitely wouldn't stop you swimming the lake," Robin said, eyes round with fear. She didn't look to keen on any of the options provided. "I think maybe I'll have to be sent home," she whispered, and dissolved into tears. George swiftly took pity on her.

"I'll bet it's different for muggleborns," he said quickly. "I wouldn't worry about it, I expect you won't have to do any really hard magic."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure, there are loads of muggleborns who go to Hogwarts," Fred said encouragingly.

"As for me'n Fred, we're going to take on the troll," George said, puffing out his chest. "Gryffindors for the win."

"Bet I could take on the troll," Lee said, drawing courage from the twins' confidence. "My dad was a Gryffindor. Mum was a Hufflepuff, though, so maybe I'll get sorted there."

"Nah, you'll be Gryffindor," Fred said, eyeing the boy approvingly.

"I hope I'll be good enough for Ravenclaw," Joanne piped up. "I expect I might be able to answer Dumbledore's questions." She had tugged a few books from her bag and begun to scour them for useful information. George sniggered, then caught himself and gave her an encouraging nod.

"I'd go for the lake option if I were you, Lucas," Fred hinted, nudging the scowling boy.

"Yeah, knew you had it in you to be a hero, Luke," George grinned.

"Well maybe I will," Avery said arrogantly. "Show you lot how it's done."

"Bet you'll get loads of special privileges," Lee said, looking as if he might have caught on to the twins' plan.

The rest of the journey was spent cheerfully discussing families, magic and what classes they wanted to take. The twins wasted no time in spreading a few more horror stories about Snape dunking your head in your cauldron if you did your potion wrong and McGonogall transfiguring you into a toad for forgetting to hand your homework in. The group were all suitably petrified by the time the train chugged into the station, and as Hagrid shepherded the group to the fleet of little rowing boats, Fred and George exchanged gleeful glances, eyes dancing, as the pale, trembling Avery stepped off to one side, gulping audibly.

"Hey, you there, wha' are you doin'?" Hagrid asked as he stepped to the water's edge.

"I'm going to be a Slytherin," Avery said in a very high-pitched voice. "And I'm not fighting you." Fred chortled with glee. That was an added bonus. Hagrid the troll.

"I'm not goin' to hurt yeh," Hagrid said bemusedly. "What're yeh- GET AWAY FROM THA' WATER!"

Avery gave the half giant a very frightened, wild-eyed glance before plunging headfirst into the lake, emerging gasping and thrashing a few metres out. The twins, along with a few other students who had cottoned on to the misunderstanding, were gasping with laughter, while others were dancing around in consternation at the probably drowning boy.

After a few moments of Hagrid yelling, Avery thrashing and students cheering, a large, lazy tentacle reached out of the water and pulled the spluttering boy out of the water, planting him on the far shore.

"It doesn't count, it doesn't count. I still get to choose my house, right? I'm a Slytherin," hollered Avery, still choking and gasping, but positively hopping with indignation at being foiled in his plan.

"Who told yeh tha' nonsense?" Hagrid boomed. The twins donned identical innocent expression. "Yeh'll be sorted wi' the sorting hat just like the rest of 'em. An' no more jumpin' in lakes, yeh lot. It's more'n me job's worth to have to account for drownin' firs' years."

Under several reproachful and a few mirthful or admiring glances, Fred and George gave each other a silent high-five.

"Good going, Gred,"

"Same to you, Forge."

"Gryffindor won't know what's hit it."


End file.
